I was coming back from my brother's house last night listening to sattar. The song was from a father to his daughter. I cannot even mention the lyrics now. I cried my heart out. It smacked me right in the face, punched me in the gut gasping for air. When this damn illness was starting to really effect me, my biggest fear was that I would not be able to work anymore and provide for my daughters, I would not sleep nights. Cold sweat would cover my body when I had to schedule defensive tactics and days on the range. What if they find out I cannot work. What if they found out I cannot perform the job anymore. What if I lost my job. What kind of a father would I be. now it has happened. I feel shame for not being to perform physical tascs. I am so afraid that one day I would need help performing basic functions. My biggest fears have come through. I just hope I keep the strength and Mahsa finds the strength and Maryam continues to be strong. I never want them to think of me and be ashamed of me...
Wow, it has been a while since I posted on this blog. I need to start again
While traveling in Iran
Arriving in Khuzestan
1 comment:
While I do not personally know your pain, I can relate to your fears. Try to remember that your friends love you for "Who" you are, not "What" you can or cannot do. Who you are comes through in your writing. It is a testament to what makes you the man you are. Keep writing, reveal to us the man you are regardless of the illness you have.
من به شما می كند.
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